He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
