then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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