idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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