Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
