apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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