she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
