so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
