Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize