first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
