69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
