You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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