shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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