apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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