i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
