I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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