My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The uberlube is also flammable
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
