How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
