her vagine was all disorganized.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
