This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
