I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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