I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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