i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
