You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
