Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
