Define "chronic" masturbator.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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