I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its liver damage thursday
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
