In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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