Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
