i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
