How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
