I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
