it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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