Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
