8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
