seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So vagazzling was a success
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
