Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
