He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
