Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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