could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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