VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
