I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
