That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
