I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
