have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
