Can Purell be used as lube?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
