Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
