Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
