For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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