im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
