Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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