So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
