letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
