Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
