I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
