That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
