found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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