take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
All the doctor said was why
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Panties = found
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
