I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
