I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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