I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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