i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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