Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
