me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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