never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The Olympian is in my bed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
