I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
