Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
